I made love to an object!

Forgive me Ladies & Gents, for it has been 3 months since my last confession and these are all my sins...

Firstly there is a sun and it exists. After 5 months of shocking weather, the sun has made its appearance. It's hot, humid, sticky and I dig it. Some guy I know once said in the Summer, it's gets so hot his balls stick to his bum. Crude? Yes. But in this case seeing doesn't have to be believing. I even think DC could give Durban a run for its curry!

I went to Miami recently. Hired a car and drove from West Palm Beach to Miami- only one problem. It was "Urban Week-end". At first I thought I like P Diddy too! So there I am waiting for the traffic light to go green thinking about my first sip of frozen margeritas when I peer over to the left and come face to face with a Big Black Man, a Big Bike and his Big Bi$%tch on the back (thats how they say it Mamma!)She had a massive paw print on her right thigh. He had pantihose wrapped around his skinhead and my thought suddenly changed to O Bliksem! Listening to Tiny Dancer from Elton John was definitely not a smart song choice. I turned the knob down to a low and kept thinking Madagascar- Just smile and wave boys. Just smile and wave.

Arriving at the Hostel turned out the be just as entertaining. For twenty dollars a night, you know you're not setting the bar very high. You get to sleep in a dorm the size of a small kitchen with 3 bunk beds wedged into a maze. A maze to the point where I remember waking up in the morning snacking on a hairy Argentinians foot with background music of an angle grinder. God knows what the next dorm were up to?!

Looking for a better deal and some R & R just took a 5 min walk. The ocean. Not the sea OK! Here's a tip: Never say the sea, nobody gets it I tried. That and of course swimming costume. If you say "I'm putting on my costume" the Yankie Doodles will think you're putting on an outfit for Halloween. While putting my tootsies in I realised this was going to be the first time I swum in the sea since leaving SA. I felt like the chick from Splash. After floating and frolicking my mermaid tail was back to good and what came next was more pleasurable than before. I made love. Sweet passionate love. It cost R250.00 to be shipped and I'd do it again. Here's the love letter I wrote to it once I finished all its contents and 5 other friends.

'To My One True Love

It's been so long since I took a knife and cut you down the middle. I especially love the sound it makes when doing it. Reaching in for you and grabbing you by the neck, may seem trashy but it feels so right. I wish I could open you with my eye but when your top finally comes off it's like Heaven because I know what comes next. Since the first day we met you've been so good to me and no price can match my appreciation for your loyalty. Always yours, forever and now.... .'

For cider lovers, nothing tastes as good as a Savannah. Cider in the US is a poor mission and so drinking one, two or six after a year sabattical was gracious!

Miami became sunshine, swimming, Savannah and smiles in any random order. After Miami came Orlando and Universal Studios. This is where I cried while riding a bicycle over the Moon to take ET Home. Drew Barrymore would be proud. All in all it was a great road trip and a break from being a Washingtonian. On any given day now, you'll find me working 16 hour days & riding the metro for 3 of them to get to my summer internship.

I'm more American than I'd like to admit but just like ET I can see home. I'll be graduating in Television Production in the Fall (what is Autumn?) So keep an eye out on that Moon, it's nearly time to watch out for my bicycle too!

That'll be all for now I think... I guess that'll be 20 Hail Mary's, 5 Our Fathers and an extra year in Purgatory!?

xoxoxo

Fly Me To The Moon!

It's been a while since I put these tap shoes on a plane. In fact the last time I did was when I came over from San Francisco. There's nothing like walking through the checkpoints in the US. You really do have to get naked and show your bits to the security officers.

Landing in Atlanta- a special little treat. Very industrial, not so pretty but friendly with a capital "F". The moment I got off, people were smiling in all directions. I thought the one lady was batting for the other team coz she stared for just that much too long. Turns out she had a baby stroller with a midget inside so I'm thinking, "No Stacey, lighten up sweetie!"

With a day driving around this diverse State, you can only imagine how happy I was being reunited with my brother from the same mother. And what do you get when you mix a couple Saffers together? A braai, way too much wine followed by blurry nights and a run in with the law. Turns out, it was this Rethman who nearly landed in the trunk for not knowing the physical address to return home. (not a happy cab driver) A couple flash lights later and I was happy to be back in the bar having escaped the law once again. Which in turn lead to a celebratory drink of freedom!

Besides for a nasty kopseer and Ghandi's flip flop in my mouth, the next day proved to be worthless. I've moaned about the Winter here but this was the first time a "Tornado Watch" made me excited. It meant I got to stay indoors, eat take-out and stare out the windows watching a Sci Fi come to life.

Resurfacing the next day meant coming a 'live' to the Mighty Ducks. Last time I watched the Ducks, I was slurping on a Slush Puppie in the back row trying to hold hands with a ginger. We talk about Rugby being aggressive, Ice Hockey is not a far cry. The players are actually allowed to fight and moer each other over the head until someone drops onto their knees. Talk about dondering the other side. I spent most the game with my jaw-dropped waiting for the hot chicks to clean the ice. Turns out every couple of minutes, these barbie-boobed dolls come out and clean the ice. I can't remember seeing that in the Mighty Ducks? Perhaps this is when the ginger and I were in mid conversation!

Now I know Cape Town is very gay, I also know San Francisco is gay. There are parts in DC that are partially gay but I had no idea Atlanta featured a huge gay population. Which brings me back to the idea, that maybe the lady with the stroller had a fake baby?!

Point being Atlanta is very diverse and I like it. There are poor parts, 'punk-rock' parts and of course the CNN Headquarters and Olympic 96 parts. I started off in the poor part (public transport), had lunch in the gay part (muy bien), shopped around in the punk-rock part and ended my journey with a Studio Tour of CNN and a stroll through the very place where Penny Heyns won two gold medals.

So Atlanta came and went. A fun-filled week-end, always a pleasure to see my brother and of course what a marvel being so so close to my next job as a CNN reporter.

Spring is here although it snowed on Saturday?! Since we last spoke I've danced a corporate at the Ritz Carlton, sang Kareoke at a dog event, become an Aunt and will hopefully be watching Johnny Clegg tonight.

With more travels packed in the bag, raise your glass as next week is my 1st year Anniversary in the USA...

Screw meditation, hello SAD.

Why have I been so quiet?

Well here's an honest remark. It's called SAD and I have it. No no, not an STD it's along the line of what the yankie doodles refer to as Seasonal Depression. When I heard about a white Christmas, I was excited. As a kid you dream of what it would be like. Not anymore.

For crying in a snow storm, Santa has left the building it's nearly Valentines Day and white shaving cream is everywhere. Nevermind a flake or two, it's in full force and crippling. Snow and bad weather controls your day. It keeps you cooped up inside and if it's not the snow there are other treacherous bacteria and viruses to consider. Ice for one. And not the "met ys ja, met ys... ." I'm talking about a slippery thick head-on-collision.

If you haven't seen a photo of me on Facebook recently it's not because there aren't any. It's rather I wake up at 4am every morning to untag myself of any evidence. Your skin and mood goes to a donkey's ass and I give up! My new name is Powder and I shall be the night.

Funny story. Usually if the weather is a topic of conversation it's because he/she is worth nothing but a peace sign? For example...

Frikkie (or Flip you can't remember): So ja hey, this weather is quite something. AWKWARD PAUSE WHILE YOU WAIT FOR YOUR BFF TO SEND YOU A VERY *NB BBM!

You: I know. It's hectic hey. I was just thinking about the same thing. Cool man. SILENCE CONTINUES AS YOUR MIND CONCOCTS A SNEAKY ESCAPE STILL WAITING FOR YOUR BBF AND BBM.

Well that may be the case in most tropics but not in North America. This stuff is serious, nasty and leads to SAD. At least in London they have good pastries and proper freaking tea?!

Anyway where am I and how did I get here? You can now found Dory drowning in South African red wine. How did I get that right? Well I stumbled across an Asian man in a tiny bottle store and this *mushroom* stocks Excelsior, Riebeek Kasteel and Rupert and Rothschild! I say I say good fellow, me love you long looooooooooong time!

So besides for the weather, a serious case of SAD and pimples for you, your Aunty and Ouma I'm sad to be away from my friends and family. And it's all because of a visa. Strange how just because of the place you were born determines your journey and what you need to sacrifice in order to achieve.

Truth, I reckon the older we get, the more we realise now is the time to reminisce, celebrate and welcome.

It's time to chit chat about old times over tea with Granny (even though she says the same thing a 100X). It's time to look at how beautiful your best friend looks walking down the aisle (that's you Lu Lu) and of course it's about experiencing new life. Heavens as I type this, my sister is probably on her second push. Go Natti. Go!

Without further a due, here's wishing you a sunny day. I hope y 'all are on a beach, drinking cheap beer and singing tunes with the top down...

xoxo