Birthdays older than 25, are poep scary!
Number 1)
Living in an age of cyber space, you'll wonder "Who is going to wish me?"
Gone are the days where you receive cards in the post, or a sticky jam note from your school buds. Nope. It’s all over now. Instead switch on your computer and see who sent you a “secret gift”, flashing cake or skype “bear hug”. Yes Jesus Facebook has taken over.
Number 2)
You’re no longer in your early twenties. It’s time now to get a damn job and...
“For heavens sake Stacey, stop dancing on bar counters!”
(by that I mean not every Friday night).
Number 3)
It’s time as a tick tocking woman to ponder on the idea of settling: And by ‘settling’ I mean the scary words, “P”, “M” ‘n “J”. Screw P.M.S because Pregnancy Marriage and Job are stifling. I get hives just putting them together in one sentence.
Number 4)
Nobody wants to play with me. I want to play the sack race, balance an egg on a spoon and put my face into a bucket of icy water to pick out the apples. Only difference is now I want the flour to be replaced with red red red wine! (Give me horns I don’t care)
Number 5)
Yes it’s true, the mirror has changed. Somehow my usually well tanned smooth skin resembles the myth of a crocodile. He’s not completely there, but the sneaky buggers got his tail slightly out the water. Kind of waving at me going….
“Hellllloooooo… yes it’s me Mr Crocodile. And soon I’ll be all over your face like a ripple in a tide wave!”
Number 6)
I’m on a self journey away from home. Missing a smooth Savannah, a munchable bag of Niknaks, a warm cuppa Milo, sweet Rooibos, dunkable Ouma, spicy Mrs Balls… oh yes and of course my family and dearest friends! You know… the ones who will sing the ‘Bee Gee Sus’ with you until 3am blind drunk contesting to see whose got the tightest undies.
Number 7)
What’s love gotta do with it? Please ask Tina Turner and get back to me. I’m very confused as to why I feel the need to hear from lovers lost. The one I was meant to marry… not a word. The one who said he loved me before I left, not a squeak. And the one who I met here…..a wall post?! Come on Tina, surely I’m simply the best right?
At the end of this day and for all those 7 superficial reasons, it comes down to one. One comforting reason I hold onto: 26 years ago... My Mother became my Hero! Flying out of that warm place, weighing 1kg and a couple of smarties, I was born with water on my lungs and dubbed E.T for my beauty. So stuff thinking “who/what/where/when” just being here, wherever… is enough.
Let's raise our glasses for a toast...
To the mothers : Your baby will always see You as their Hero.
To the single ladies: Your P,M 'n J will happen, give it time.
To the married, settled and pregnant: You're on the right track but slow down, you're making me feel old!
xoxo
