Bonk me Now!

It's been a long time since I had a bonk! And by bonk I mean to sit down and make love, caress and tantalise the keys of my laptop.

Since stepping foot in the United States, my life has gone up and down. I came here to follow the dream- to further my studies in the Artsy Farts and to travel far and wide before I'm old, barefoot and pregnant in sombody's kitchen.

But please! Call me your toe-curling roller-coaster because nothing has gone accordingly. Landing in San Francisco, I moved in with a family who insisted I medicate their eldest child. When I say 'medicate' I actually mean sedate. Imagine a little girl, not even a teen, drooling at the mouth from side effects and suffering from permanent constipation. Not even Brooklax could save this child.

Anyway point being she was taking anti pshycotics and other prescribed meds for autism, bipolar and tourettes. Scarily so I was being held liable for this. Tip for aliens living in the US: Don't hold yourself liable for somebody else other than your ex boyfriend. So you ask, what's a girl like me to do? Get the FU)*! out? Yes of course that's what I did. I ended up, as some of you know, living with friends I made in a bar, and had two weeks to find a different American home to become apart of.

I found one. Yes I did. And oh boy, it has been from one extreme to the next. I am no longer living with the Bride of Chucky, but I am living in disarray. These families are supposed to feed you. Mind don't. They are supposed to be pay for you to go with them on their vacation. They didn't. I live in a cave and the only way to see my toes at night is to try and stumble on my flashlight. Whilst writing this, I'm lying on a hard floor, thinking of a cold Savannah and missing MY people. To all you South Africans back home, sometimes the grass can be avo-poo green. I have had a sock slapped through my face. Not only have I've been threatened to leave "because I know where the door is" but most recently I have been accused of stealing vodka?! As If! I'm so Clueless to the point where this has all become hilariously funny.

I went to New York, ate my Italian pasta. I went to New Jersey and swam in the sea. I cycled across the Golden Gate Bridge and I watched the fireworks outside the White House on July 4th. But I still haven't been to Vegas.

Most memorable moment of late? Watching the Parlotones in a little club in D.C. There were about twenty South Africans, singing, laughing and chatting about how nothing and or nobody compares to the beauty we own. Our sense of humour is contagious, our accents are fokkin duidelik and we know how to chug on a beer. We don't care for processed cheese and unruly kids. We hate 10 lanes of traffic. We despise people who think they are the next Obama and we really would fancy a cup of gooooooooood English Breakfast Tea.

Since coming here I see my computer as my lover. Let's call him Bruce. Bruce is my connection to you back home and to those who are on similar missions. He's my friend anytime of the day. When I wake up in the morning I switch ol Brucey boy on, pour some coffee (sometimes on him, grrr...) and I touch bases wherever I can.

When I come home late at night after drinking lots and lots of red wine, I switch Bruce on and feel at peace. Although Bruce offers little warmth, there is nothing a hot water bottle cannot do. And with the colder season on its way perhaps I've just decided on my next buy! Don't get me wrong, I am making the most of this experience. So I'm hanging in, with my mate Bruce and a couple others I've been lucky enough to meet.

I may be moving again for the third time in 6 months. You would SWEAR I was an actress with all this 'drama drama' going on?! Yes blondie, that was rhetorical...

So on that note, I'm loving you from here, missing your voice and thinking how good a boerie roll would be right about NOW.

Peace, Love and FU&^^* ing Mac Donald's, here's wishing you a great week-end!

xoxo

P.S I hope you like my bonkable image coz Bruce loves it!